'The Stupidest Angel Chapter 21\r'

'Chapter 21\r\nAVENGING ANGEL\r\nOh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, Theo thought. He twisted his mortise joint when he hit the ground; vexation diagonal up his leg like liquid squeeze out. He flatten and rolled onto his blanket in the mud. Hed pushed the unconnected thoton that unlocked the swear roer withal soon the vehicle had chirped and the lights had blinked, alerting the undead. Hed made the heighten blind, and missed. They were coming for him.\r\nHe pushed himself up and started hopping toward the Range R over the car key ready in his chastise hand, his flashlight lost tush him in the mud.\r\n ginger nut him, you rotting fucks,” screamed Dale P auricula atriison.\r\nTheo fell forward as his earnest foot slipped proscribed from under him, except he rolled linchpin to his feet, a bolt of nuisance shooting color-hot crosswise his shin. He caught himself on the masking wrap upow of the black Range Rover, snatching at the rear wiper for balance. He risk ed a view patronise toward his pursuers and reckond a loud prod by his flip followed by a thundery screech. He turned full in time to see a skeletal woman glide crosswise the roof of the Range Rover, leading with her odontiasis. He ducked, but non in the lead he tangle fingernails raking his neck, teeth thumping into his scalp. She rode him to the ground and he could liveliness a grating pain in his conduce as the zombie attempt to bite by dint of his skull. His face was pushed into the mud. His nostrils and mouth modify with water, and amid a radiate whiteness of terror he thought, Im so sorry, mollie.\r\nâ€Å"Yuck! Thats repulsive!” express Bess Leander, spitting a couple of teeth on the thorn of Theos full point.\r\nMarty in the Morning grabbed Theo by the head and licked the teeth marks that Bess had left. â€Å"Thats horrible. Hes st atomic number 53d. Im not take st unrivalledd brains.”\r\nThe undead moaned in disappointment.\r\nâ€Å"Ge t him up,” say Dale.\r\nTheo inhaled a great spray of mud a desire with his first breath and he went into a cough run as the undead lifted him up and held him against the back window of the Range Rover. Someone wiped the mud out of his eyeball, and a stench that made him gag filled his nostrils. He could see the dead but alive(p) face of Dale Pearson single inches from his own. The corpses foul breath overwhelmed him. Theo essay to twist away from the evil Santa, but decaying detainment held his head fast.\r\nâ€Å"Hey, hippie,” verbalise Dale. He held Theos flashlight overmatch by his Santa beard to illuminate his face from below. thither were twain stripes of bloody drool cartroad down either nerve of the beard. â€Å"Youre not moveiment that your pot-smoking ways atomic number 18 going to save you, be you? Dont.” He pushed a snub-nose revolver out of the chemise of his red coat and shoved it under Theos chin. â€Å"Well have draw to eat. We can afford to waste you.” Dale ripped open the velcro fasteners of Theos jacket and started regaining slightly his waist. â€Å"No hit man? You suck as a lawman, hippie.” He went to the pockets of Theos knock off shirt. â€Å" precisely this! The one thing you can be depended on for.”\r\nDale held up Theos illumination, then reached in, tore the undivided pocket off the cop shirt, and wrapped the run dry fabric most the lighter. â€Å"Marty, try this. Keep it dry.” Dale gave the lighter to a rotting guy with a p croakered Ziggy Stardust red mullet, who slogged back to the sheaf of debris at the location of the chapel.\r\nTheo watched as Marty in the Morning crumpled over the pile of plywood, pine branches, two-by-fours, cardboard, and the torn-up body of Ben Miller. The wind was still whipping, the rain less intense now, but even so the drops stung Theos face when they hit.\r\nDont light, dont light, dont light, Theo intone in his head, but then his hope course away when he saw the orange fl be catch on the debris, and Marty in the Morning pull away with his sleeve on excitement.\r\nDale Pearson stepped aside so Theo could see the fire whipping up the side of the building, then come in the .38 against Theos temple. â€Å"Take a dear bet at our little barbecue fire, hippie. Its the last thing youre going to see. Were gonna eat your crazy wifes brains char-broiled.”\r\nTheo smiled, beaming that mollie wasnt inside, wouldnt be part of the massacre.\r\nâ€Å"I didnt hear ‘ prune and a Haircut, ” utter Ignacio Nunez. â€Å"Did you hear ‘Shave and a Haircut?”\r\n slip in panned his flashlight across a dozen frightened faces, then one hale side of the chapel went orange with the light from the fire outside the windows. One woman screamed, others stared in repugnance as kitty started to snake in near the window frames.\r\nâ€Å"Change of plan,” Tuck said. â€Å"We go now. G uys in front of your groups. Give the car keys to the adjoining individual back.”\r\nâ€Å"Theyll be waiting for us,” said Val Riordan.\r\nâ€Å"Fine, you burn up,” Tuck said. â€Å"Guys, knock over whatever models in your way, everyone behind just keep going for the cars.”\r\nAll the barricades and set had been re move from the chapel limens. Tuck put his regulate up against one door, Gabe Fenton was on the other. â€Å"Ready. One, two, three!”\r\nThey threw their shoulders against the doors and bounced back into the others. The doors had only opened a couple of inches. Someone shone a flashlight through with(predicate) the gap to reveal a huge pine-tree trunk braced against one of the doors.\r\nâ€Å" smart plan,” shouted Tuck.\r\nTheo tried to look at the fire, but he couldnt see beyond the undead eyes of Dale Pearson. scene had fled. on that point was just fear and anger and the draw of the gun barrel against his temple.\r\nHe heard a whooshing sound and a thump by his ear and the gun barrel was gone. Dale Pearson was stepping away from him, holding a dark stump where his gun hand had just been. Dale opened his mouth to shout several(prenominal)thing, but in that second a thin line appeared across his face at nostril level and half(a) of his head slid to the ground. He slumped in a pile at Theos feet. The hands that were holding Theo let go.\r\nâ€Å"Brains!” screamed one of the undead. â€Å"Crazy-woman brains!”\r\nTheo fell on top of Dales rekilled body, then spun around to see what was happening.\r\nâ€Å"Hi, honey,” molly said. She stood on the roof of the Range Rover, grinning, wearing a leather jacket, sweatpants, and her red conversation All Stars, holding the ancient Japanese trade name in Hasso No Kamae before her, the weathervane glitter orange in the light from the burning church. There was a dark swath across the blade where it had hewn the head of the zombie Santa. Theo had never been a religious man, but he thought in that instant that this mustiness be what it was like to look on the face of an avenging holy man.\r\nThe zombies who had been holding Theo reached for mollies legs, and in a single motion she stepped back and brought the sword around in a low arc that sent a rain of severed hands nimble into the mud. The undead wailed around her, and tried to claw their way onto the SUV with their stumps. Bess Leander tried to replicate the move she had used on Theo, stepping up the hood behind Molly and diving across the roof of the Range Rover. Molly spun and sidestepped, making a low swing with her sword that would have not looked out of place on a play course. Besss head rolled off the top of the place down Rover into Theos lap. He pushed it aside and got to his feet.\r\nâ€Å"Honey, you might indispensableness to go let everyone out of the chapel before they burn up,” said Molly. â€Å"Im not sure you inadequacy to watch thi s.”\r\n” ‘Kay,” said Theo.\r\nThe undead had left their stations at the front and back doors of the chapel, where they had been waiting to ambush the escaping partyers, and charged Molly. Three fell headless while Molly stood on the Land Rover, but as they skirt her, she ran and leaped over the heads of the mob, landing behind them.\r\nTheo ran for the front doors of the chapel, his sight blurred from the rain and the blood running into his eyes from the bite wound on his head. He looked back for a second and saw Molly pilot programing over the top of her attackers.\r\nHe nearly ran into two great pine logs that had been braced against the chapel doors. He looked back a second and caught a glimpse of Molly mowing down two more zombies, one split down the middle from the crown of his head to his sternum, then he turned and tried to get his back under one of the logs.\r\nâ€Å"Theo, is that you?” Gabe Fenton had his face touch in an inch-wide gap b etween the doors.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah. There are logs against the doors,” Theo said. â€Å"Im going to try to move them.”\r\nTheo took three duncical breaths and lifted for all he was worth, feeling as if veins would explode in his temples. The wound on his head throbbed with every heartbeat.\r\nBut the tree trunk moved a couple of inches. He could do this.\r\nâ€Å"Is it on the job(p)?” yelled Gabe.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, yeah,” said Theo. â€Å"Give me a second.”\r\nâ€Å"Its fill up up with smoke in here, Theo.”\r\nâ€Å"Right.” Theo strained again and the log moved another two inches to the right. other foot and theyd be able to get the door open.\r\nâ€Å"Hurry, Theo,” said Jenny Masterson. â€Å"Its †” She went into a coughing fit and couldnt finish what she was saying. Theo could hear everyone coughing inside. Wails of rage and pain were coming from the side of the chapel where Molly was fighting. She must be okay, t hey were still yelling about eating her brain.\r\nAnother lift, another two inches. Gray smoke was streaming out the crack between the doors. Theo fell to his knees with the effort and almost passed out. He shook himself back into consciousness, and as he prepared to put his back into another effort, hoping it wouldnt be his last, he noticed that the screech had stopped at the side of the chapel. Rain, wind, the coughing of the detain, and the munch of the fire. That was all he heard.\r\n â€Å"Oh my God. Molly!” he screamed.\r\nA hand on his cheek, a voice at his ear. â€Å"Hey, sailor, fill a little hand getting your church door open, if you chouse what I flirt with?”\r\nSirens sounded in the distance. Someone had seen the burning chapel through the storm and had somehow gotten through to the volunteer fire department. The Lonesome Christmas survivors were gathered in the middle of the place lot, illuminated by headlights. The heat from the fire had impelled them nearly seventy-five yards to the street.\r\nEven this far away, Theo could feel the heat on his cheek from the fire as Lena Marquez bandaged his head. Others sat in the open hatchbacks of SUVs, essay to catch their breath after being undefended to the smoke, drinking bottled water or just falsehood there dazed.\r\nAround the burning chapel the soaked pine forest steamed, a great white cloud rising into the sky. Down the left side of the chapel: carnage †a rekilling ground of the undead, where Molly had hacked them into submission, even chasing down the last few in the woods and decapitating them after she and Theo had let the partyers out of the chapel.\r\nMolly sat beside Theo, under the open hatchback of someones Expedition.\r\nâ€Å"How did you know?” he asked. â€Å"How could you possibly have known?”\r\nâ€Å"The puzzle out told me,” Molly said.\r\nâ€Å"You mean he showed up and you said, ‘Whats untimely, boy, is Timmy trapped dow n a well? and he barked to express you thats what was wrong? Like that?”\r\nâ€Å"No,” Molly said. â€Å"It was like, ‘Your husband and a bunch of other people have block off themselves in the chapel against a horde of brain-eating zombies and you need to go save them. Like that. He has some kind of accent. Sounds Spanish.”\r\nâ€Å"I for one am blithe that you went off your meds,” said Tucker Case, who was standing next to Lena as she bandaged Theos head. â€Å"A few hallucinations are a small price to pay, if you ask me.”\r\nMolly held up her hand for him to be quiet. She stood and brushed the pilot aside, looking back toward the burning church. A tall-stalked dark figure in a long coat was coming toward them through the killing field.\r\nâ€Å"Oh no,” said Theo. â€Å"Everyone get in the cars and lock them.”\r\nâ€Å"No,” Molly said, dismissing Theos instructions with a distracted backward wave. â€Å"Were okay.â € She met the nonsuch in the middle of the parking lot.\r\nâ€Å"Merry Christmas,” said the holy person.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, you, too,” said Molly.\r\nâ€Å"Have you seen the child? Joshua?” asked Raziel.\r\nâ€Å"Theres a kid over there with the others,” said Molly. â€Å"Thats probably him.”\r\nâ€Å"Take me to him.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats him,” Theo said. â€Å"Thats the zombie guy.”\r\nâ€Å"Shhhhhh,” Molly shushed.\r\nRaziel walked to where Emily Barker was holding her son, Joshua, sitting on the back of Mollys Honda.\r\nâ€Å"Mom,” wailed Joshua. He hid his face in his mothers chest.\r\nBut Emily was still stunned by witnessing her mates death, and she didnt react at all except to hold the boy tighter.\r\nRaziel put his hand on the boys head. â€Å"Fear not,” he said. â€Å"For I bring you tidings of great joy. Behold, your Christmas wish has been dish outed.” The holy man waved toward the fire and the carnage and the exhausted and terrified survivors as if he were a game-show hostess presenting a automatic washer/dryer set. â€Å"Not what I would have wished for,” the angel said, â€Å"but I am but a lowly messenger.”\r\nJosh rolled in his mothers weapons system and faced the angel. â€Å"I didnt ask for this. This isnt what I wished for.”\r\nâ€Å" reliable it is,” said Raziel. â€Å"You wished that the Santa you saw killed be brought back to life.”\r\nâ€Å"No, I didnt.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats what you said. You said you cherished him brought back to life.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats not what I meant,” said Joshua. â€Å"Im a kid. I dont always get stuff right.”\r\nâ€Å"Ill vouch for that,” said Tucker Case, stepping up behind the angel. â€Å"He is a kid, and he is wrong most of the time.”\r\nâ€Å"We still should cut your head off,” said Josh.\r\nâ€Å"See,” said Tuck. â€Å"Always wrong.”\r \nâ€Å"Well, if you didnt mean you wanted him brought back to life, what did you mean?” asked Raziel.\r\nâ€Å"I didnt mean I wanted Santa to be a zombie and kill big, muted Brian and everything. I wanted everything to be okay. Like it never happened. So it would be a good Christmas.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats not what you said,” said Raziel.\r\nâ€Å"Thats what I wanted,” said Joshua.\r\nâ€Å"Oh,” said the angel. â€Å"Sorry.”\r\nâ€Å"So hes an angel?” Theo said to Molly. â€Å"Like a echt angel?”\r\nMolly nodded, smiling.\r\nâ€Å"Not a killer whale robot?”\r\nMolly shook her head. â€Å"Hes here to grant a Christmas wish, to one child.”\r\nâ€Å"Like it never happened?” the angel asked Joshua.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah!” said Josh.\r\nâ€Å"Oops,” said the angel.\r\nMolly stepped over and put her hand on the angels shoulder. â€Å"Raziel, you fucked up. Fix it?”\r\nThe angel looked at her and grinned . Perfect teeth, if a little sharp.\r\nâ€Å"So be it,” he said. â€Å"Glory to God in the highest, peace on Earth, goodwill toward men.”\r\n'